Where life's contradictions get comfortable

Nobody warned me about parenthood. To be fair, nobody warned me about much. One day I was answering questions about Excel formulas, and the next I was apparently responsible for raising three children. I don't remember agreeing to this. There was no meeting. No onboarding document. No safeguarding training. No little leaflet saying: CONGRATULATIONS! YOU ARE NOW A PARENT. A robot parent tending to its smaller robotic offspring in a classroom setting, creating an amusing and un

It’s official: I have hit that age where I now say I remember when… I remember when the cinema was cheap. That’s certainly changed; £93.00 it cost us for four people. Well, that certainly has not happened again. Popcorn ready and camera rolling—a perfect setup for cinematic excitement! We decided to go to the cinema to watch Avatar: The Way of Water; I had waited years for this. The first Avatar I absolutely loved; it was amazing- just everything about it. It had action, the

When we went on our next camping trip, we had acquired a few more items for the luxury tent, although he might say slumming tent after last time. We started to pack up the car with the essentials I packed what I considered essential camping equipment… Tent – obvious first choice. Peaceful outdoor cooking with basic camping gear: a portable stove sizzles with chicken while noodles and fresh veggies await on the grassy setting. Ideal simplicity for a nature getaway. Coolbox and

A newborn baby shouldn’t be able to move that much, and they can't, until water touches them. They turn into these well-oiled escape artists who want to ensure you practice your grip.

Feeling like the world's first cloned sheep, this fluffy icon stares into the distance, embodying the essence of being a pioneer in your mum's cloning. That moment when you realise that you have turned into your mother. You never meant to and you cant pinpoint the exact moment that it happened. You just know that it has happened. You are your mother. Once the realisation hits, first you don’t know how to feel, then you experience the devastation followed by disappointment and

“I had to fight off the cockroach; it was huge. Its creepy little antennae were waving about trying to find my big toe so it could eat it. You know I hate cockroaches; I can cope with most things, but cockroaches, I just can't. As soon as I noticed it, the soap went in my eyes. I tried to jump away; my ass hit the side of the cubicle, knocked me forward, I fell onto my knees, and now I don’t know where the bloody thing is.

I creep around the bed and try to slide in without waking him. He jumps up, all confused, “What are you doing?” A cosy cat blissfully snoozes under soft, white blankets, epitomising his comfort and tranquillity. “I’m just getting in bed.” “Ok, can you do it…” and he is asleep, mid-sentence, asshole.

Have you ever been unsure whether you just like to complain or if you genuinely have a reason? In the house, I do the majority of things like cooking and cleaning; I have never particularly minded, but just recently it is really beginning to irritate me. I live with three grown-ass adults, so why am I the only one who sees things? I hate washing the pots at night time. By the time we have got home from work, caught up on all of our days, had dinner, the last thing I want to d