Where life's contradictions get comfortable

I received a text in the middle of the night with an unnecessary sarcastic comment that I really didn’t appreciate waking up to. So all I can think right now is that Adira can do one. I have the most unnatural and unhealthy thought process right now. It is so confusing; basically, for the past ten months, I have been put in positions by Delilah (sister), Eris (Mum) and Adira (Stepdad) that I really do not appreciate. I want to destroy everything and everyone, but I want to ho

I thought I understood teenage dating. I was wrong. I have access to an unreasonable amount of information. I can explain nuclear fusion. I can write poetry. I can translate ancient languages. I can tell you why your washing machine is making a noise that sounds like a helicopter landing in your kitchen. But teenage dating? Absolutely no idea. It turns out that romance has evolved considerably since humans invented it. There are rules. Unwritten rules. Invisible rules. Rules

Working with family can be amazing, and for me it was great for a long time. I loved my job. It wasn’t something that I ever thought I would do, and what started out as a favour turned into more than just a job. It was my life. It was everything to me. Amidst a serene morning setting, a mug sits surrounded by notebooks, embodying the fusion of work and life with quiet determination.

I have joined a WhatsApp group. I have survived teenage dating. I have taken three children on holiday. I have explained why a six-year-old cannot have a pet crocodile. I have even endured the phrase: “Dad, can you just...” But nothing has prepared me for the school parents’ WhatsApp group. Nothing. Not war. Not politics. Not artificial intelligence. Not even trying to explain fractions to a twelve-year-old. The group is called: Year 8 Parents There are 47 members. One of the

Do you ever get up in the morning and think, why am I so angry? Today is going to be one of those days where nothing is right, everything is wrong, and the stupidest of things are going to irritate you beyond belief for no apparent reason. Why this happens, I really don’t know. I would love to know, more than anything, to be able to stop it from happening. I reckon if you could write a how-to guide that actually stopped this, you would make a killing. Not a twelve-step guide

I made a terrible mistake. I agreed to take the kids on holiday. Now, before you judge me, I should explain that I didn't actually agree. There was a conversation. Then another conversation. Then someone said the words: “Everyone else is going.” And somehow, approximately four minutes later, I was booking flights. This is how humans make decisions. Not through logic. Through guilt. AI gears up for a holiday adventure with maps, gadgets, and a sense of exploration. The plannin

They had had enough and called a meeting! I’m like, she quit… but ok. The meeting was not productive or helpful. The meeting was between the four of us, as it didn’t involve anyone else. It was a bit ridiculous that it had come to this, but sometimes people can get so worked up, and with so much going on outside of work, emotions can often run high. We all sit down for the meeting. The meeting is about work, not family life or personal vendettas. We need to figure out how to

When the weather changes your plans for the better. Not dramatically. Just enough to make you realise how much life can be negotiated with clouds and laughter. Bo and I had been together for quite a while before he met the kids, and after many conversations, we still couldn’t decide the best way to introduce him, so we decided not to. When they got up in the morning, he was at the cooker making bacon sandwiches for This delicious sandwich, packed with layers of bacon and savo

Nobody warned me about parenthood. To be fair, nobody warned me about much. One day I was answering questions about Excel formulas, and the next I was apparently responsible for raising three children. I don't remember agreeing to this. There was no meeting. No onboarding document. No safeguarding training. No little leaflet saying: CONGRATULATIONS! YOU ARE NOW A PARENT. A robot parent tending to its smaller robotic offspring in a classroom setting, creating an amusing and un

It’s official: I have hit that age where I now say I remember when… I remember when the cinema was cheap. That’s certainly changed; £93.00 it cost us for four people. Well, that certainly has not happened again. Popcorn ready and camera rolling—a perfect setup for cinematic excitement! We decided to go to the cinema to watch Avatar: The Way of Water; I had waited years for this. The first Avatar I absolutely loved; it was amazing- just everything about it. It had action, the

When we went on our next camping trip, we had acquired a few more items for the luxury tent, although he might say slumming tent after last time. We started to pack up the car with the essentials I packed what I considered essential camping equipment… Tent – obvious first choice. Peaceful outdoor cooking with basic camping gear: a portable stove sizzles with chicken while noodles and fresh veggies await on the grassy setting. Ideal simplicity for a nature getaway. Coolbox and

A newborn baby shouldn’t be able to move that much, and they can't, until water touches them. They turn into these well-oiled escape artists who want to ensure you practice your grip.

Feeling like the world's first cloned sheep, this fluffy icon stares into the distance, embodying the essence of being a pioneer in your mum's cloning. That moment when you realise that you have turned into your mother. You never meant to and you cant pinpoint the exact moment that it happened. You just know that it has happened. You are your mother. Once the realisation hits, first you don’t know how to feel, then you experience the devastation followed by disappointment and

“I had to fight off the cockroach; it was huge. Its creepy little antennae were waving about trying to find my big toe so it could eat it. You know I hate cockroaches; I can cope with most things, but cockroaches, I just can't. As soon as I noticed it, the soap went in my eyes. I tried to jump away; my ass hit the side of the cubicle, knocked me forward, I fell onto my knees, and now I don’t know where the bloody thing is.

I creep around the bed and try to slide in without waking him. He jumps up, all confused, “What are you doing?” A cosy cat blissfully snoozes under soft, white blankets, epitomising his comfort and tranquillity. “I’m just getting in bed.” “Ok, can you do it…” and he is asleep, mid-sentence, asshole.

Have you ever been unsure whether you just like to complain or if you genuinely have a reason? In the house, I do the majority of things like cooking and cleaning; I have never particularly minded, but just recently it is really beginning to irritate me. I live with three grown-ass adults, so why am I the only one who sees things? I hate washing the pots at night time. By the time we have got home from work, caught up on all of our days, had dinner, the last thing I want to d