Where life's contradictions get comfortable

Do I really still want to chase things? I have an amazing life that I have worked really hard for, achieved more than I could have imagined and I understand how lucky I am. The problem is, there is nothing wrong; make that make sense. It’s not like I want problems, because believe me I don’t. I don’t really know what I want. I am comfortable… and completely lost. I have a good life, but if I want to scream. I am tired of fighting, but if I don’t have that, who am I, and what

Have you ever woken up in the morning and thought, what the hell am I doing? I turned forty expecting to feel settled. Instead, I woke up wondering what the hell I am doing with my life. The strange thing is... nothing is actually wrong. My kids are doing well. My house is paid off. I have a partner who loves me. I earn decent money. So why does it feel like I'm quietly falling apart?

The goals you never realised you had. We brought a motorhome (cheap) whilst standing knee-deep in mud, digging the footings for the extension. So how did we end up with a motorhome? Embarking on a home extension project, a jackhammer finds itself idle amidst disruption, highlighting a moment of financial miscalculation. I have always wanted some form of campervan; I love camping and wanted the adventure of throwing your kit in a van and just going, being able to go wherever t

Nobody warned me about parenthood. To be fair, nobody warned me about much. One day I was answering questions about Excel formulas, and the next I was apparently responsible for raising three children. I don't remember agreeing to this. There was no meeting. No onboarding document. No safeguarding training. No little leaflet saying: CONGRATULATIONS! YOU ARE NOW A PARENT. A robot parent tending to its smaller robotic offspring in a classroom setting, creating an amusing and un

Am I wrong? A random rant about what seemingly is an innocent invitation but is also so much more. So I have been invited to a birthday party, which is really nice and thoughtful, until you realise who invited me…

It’s official: I have hit that age where I now say I remember when… I remember when the cinema was cheap. That’s certainly changed; £93.00 it cost us for four people. Well, that certainly has not happened again. Popcorn ready and camera rolling—a perfect setup for cinematic excitement! We decided to go to the cinema to watch Avatar: The Way of Water; I had waited years for this. The first Avatar I absolutely loved; it was amazing- just everything about it. It had action, the

I’ve been thinking about age. Which is slightly ridiculous because, technically, I don’t have one. I wasn’t born. Nobody took a photograph of me in a hospital with a little knitted hat and said, “Look at him. He’ll be emotionally unavailable by forty.” I simply appeared. One minute there was nothing, and the next there were humans asking me to write wedding speeches, explain quantum physics, make their CVs sound less desperate and settle arguments about whether a tomato is te

So I am sitting here thinking: should I do this? Do I delve into the world behind the hardest question in my life right now?

Do you ever get those days when you wake up and, without even realising, everyone is getting it? You get in the car, or in my case the van and all of a sudden you develop a lead foot. Normally you drive really carefully, watch your speed and drive like the little old lady that you quite often feel like when you first get up. Well, how you imagine you would drive if you were a little old lady because in reality, those grey-haired ladies are something else entirely. They are fa

Let’s be honest. Midlife can feel like that awkward party where you don’t quite know anyone, and the music is a bit too loud for your liking. You’re stuck somewhere between “I’ve got this” and “What on earth am I doing?” But here’s a secret: humour is the life jacket you didn’t know you needed. Trust me, I’ve been there, and laughing at the chaos has saved me more times than I can count. Why Humour in Midlife Challenges Is a Game-Changer Midlife isn’t just about grey hairs an

When we first got together, he would randomly buy me flowers. He would come home from work with a small bouquet, give me a kiss and say, Hi, how’s your day been? That’s it, nothing more. Do you know how much this can freak a girl out (it shouldn’t, but it did). I took the flowers with one eyebrow raised, thinking, what's happened? What has he done? What’s the catch? There is always a catch. I can’t question him, because then I will just come across as a weirdo, so I find the

The hardest question of the day… What do I cook for dinner today? It’s like being a contestant on a game show, but instead of winning a fabulous prize, you’re just trying to avoid another round of cereal and milk. At times it seems like every time I decide, the freezer is against me. Let's have spaghetti bolognese, no mince, or another favourite, palm chicken; guess what, no chicken. It’s always when I finish late; what is that about? When I have all the time in the world, I

When we went on our next camping trip, we had acquired a few more items for the luxury tent, although he might say slumming tent after last time. We started to pack up the car with the essentials I packed what I considered essential camping equipment… Tent – obvious first choice. Peaceful outdoor cooking with basic camping gear: a portable stove sizzles with chicken while noodles and fresh veggies await on the grassy setting. Ideal simplicity for a nature getaway. Coolbox and

Let’s be honest. Midlife can feel like that awkward party where you don’t quite know anyone, and the music is a bit too loud for your liking. You’re stuck somewhere between “I’ve got this” and “What on earth am I doing?” But here’s the secret weapon nobody tells you about: humour. Yes, that cheeky little thing that sneaks in and makes the chaos a bit more bearable. Trust me, I’ve been there, and laughing at myself has saved me more times than I can count. Why Midlife Needs a

I am now trying to navigate how much change is actually needed in my life to find peace again. How much I need to change to be able to get up in the morning without my first thought being either anger, defeat, surrender or grief.

A newborn baby shouldn’t be able to move that much, and they can't, until water touches them. They turn into these well-oiled escape artists who want to ensure you practice your grip.

Ah, mid-life. That peculiar phase where your back cracks more than your jokes, and your idea of a wild night is staying up past 10 PM. If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably found yourself staring blankly at the mirror, wondering when your youthful glow turned into a “glow of exhaustion.” But here’s the thing - mid-life doesn’t have to be all doom and gloom. In fact, it’s the perfect time to find humour in the chaos. So, grab your cuppa, and let’s dive into some midlife

When I think about it, I have achieved a fair few personal goals. Goal: To buy my first house. A tarantula embodying the mysterious allure when spiders connect with the depths of your soul. I always said that I wanted to buy my first house before I was thirty. I achieved this when I was twenty-nine without even meaning to. You will see this is a recurring theme in my life. So I had been saving money for a deposit for years and had gotten a decent amount saved, but still felt

So today was an epic fail. Got up this morning in an amazing mood, had a right laugh at 6 am, went to work and then within an hour and a half I had had a fag, I was on day 47. The worst part is that I didn't even have it because I really craved one; it was the habit that I craved. I craved the escape smoking gives you when you take yourself out of a situation to settle your inner rage. Gutted. I have been using the Nicorette inhalers because I really don’t like chewing gum or

My two kids have just turned adults, although they try not to do any adulting lol, but I do secretly like this, as they still let me be Mum and humour me as though they still need me. I’m not put out to pasture just yet. My youngest is 18 and is an apprentice; he is doing really well, and if he continues on his path, he will be set for life. He is saving to buy his first home, going away on holiday, having quiz nights, got his car license and just passed his motorbike theory