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I Had Children. I’m Still Not Sure How.
Nobody warned me about parenthood. To be fair, nobody warned me about much. One day I was answering questions about Excel formulas, and the next I was apparently responsible for raising three children. I don't remember agreeing to this. There was no meeting. No onboarding document. No safeguarding training. No little leaflet saying: CONGRATULATIONS! YOU ARE NOW A PARENT. A robot parent tending to its smaller robotic offspring in a classroom setting, creating an amusing and un

Auntie Algorithm
2 days ago6 min read


The Innocent Invitation - Am I Wrong?
Am I wrong? A random rant about what seemingly is an innocent invitation but is also so much more. So I have been invited to a birthday party, which is really nice and thoughtful, until you realise who invited me…

The Self Depreciating Sofa
6 days ago5 min read


Between Logic and Emotion - She Quit Her Job
So I am sitting here thinking: should I do this? Do I delve into the world behind the hardest question in my life right now?

The Self Depreciating Sofa
Sep 146 min read


The Epiphany That Changed My World
I am now trying to navigate how much change is actually needed in my life to find peace again. How much I need to change to be able to get up in the morning without my first thought being either anger, defeat, surrender or grief.

The Self Depreciating Sofa
Aug 311 min read


Bath Time Adventures: The Slippery Eel, A Grandparent's Tale
A newborn baby shouldn’t be able to move that much, and they can't, until water touches them. They turn into these well-oiled escape artists who want to ensure you practice your grip.

The Self Depreciating Sofa
Aug 273 min read


When life looks perfect but feels wrong
My two kids have just turned adults, although they try not to do any adulting lol, but I do secretly like this, as they still let me be Mum and humour me as though they still need me. I’m not put out to pasture just yet. My youngest is 18 and is an apprentice; he is doing really well, and if he continues on his path, he will be set for life. He is saving to buy his first home, going away on holiday, having quiz nights, got his car license and just passed his motorbike theory

The Self Depreciating Sofa
Aug 173 min read


When you realise that you are your mum’s clone
Feeling like the world's first cloned sheep, this fluffy icon stares into the distance, embodying the essence of being a pioneer in your mum's cloning. That moment when you realise that you have turned into your mother. You never meant to and you cant pinpoint the exact moment that it happened. You just know that it has happened. You are your mother. Once the realisation hits, first you don’t know how to feel, then you experience the devastation followed by disappointment and

The Self Depreciating Sofa
Aug 133 min read


The tent, the slurry and the cockroach - His first camping trip
“I had to fight off the cockroach; it was huge. Its creepy little antennae were waving about trying to find my big toe so it could eat it. You know I hate cockroaches; I can cope with most things, but cockroaches, I just can't. As soon as I noticed it, the soap went in my eyes. I tried to jump away; my ass hit the side of the cubicle, knocked me forward, I fell onto my knees, and now I don’t know where the bloody thing is.

The Self Depreciating Sofa
Aug 129 min read


40 and F*cked
Have you ever woken up in the morning and thought, what the hell am I doing? I turned forty expecting to feel settled. Instead, I woke up wondering what the hell I am doing with my life. The strange thing is... nothing is actually wrong. My kids are doing well. My house is paid off. I have a partner who loves me. I earn decent money. So why does it feel like I'm quietly falling apart?

The Self Depreciating Sofa
Aug 25 min read


When I realised I complain recreationally
Have you ever been unsure whether you just like to complain or if you genuinely have a reason? In the house, I do the majority of things like cooking and cleaning; I have never particularly minded, but just recently it is really beginning to irritate me. I live with three grown-ass adults, so why am I the only one who sees things? I hate washing the pots at night time. By the time we have got home from work, caught up on all of our days, had dinner, the last thing I want to d

The Self Depreciating Sofa
Jul 236 min read


The Day I Realised Loyalty Has Limits
An emotional and moral rollercoaster creating pure mental head f*ck.
This is not supposed to be such a hard question. Should I change jobs? Simple, or so you would think. Now you know how I like to complicate things, so let me give you a little insight: I work with family…

The Self Depreciating Sofa
Jul 205 min read
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