Can I Go On A Sabbatical?

The other day my lad was talking to me about his mates starting university and said that sometimes, when people finish, bear in mind they haven’t started yet. That some go on sabbatical for a year or eighteen months.

So it has got me thinking.

Can I go on a sabbatical?

Can I just check out of life for a bit?

Sod off around the world, travelling in my van- can you have a sabbatical from your family? Is that even a thing?

I looked up a sabbatical definition, and it said that it was a period of paid leave (this, I can get behind), usually granted to university teachers or other workers so they can study or travel. You normally get one year for every seven years worked. Please tell me if I am wrong in my thinking: fully paid leave for an entire year for every seven years worked.

Sounds fabulous (please read fabulous as though you are singing f-aaa-b-uuuu-loss, because that is how it sounded in my head as I wrote it, and then it gives the right effect). Anyway, I digress. Sign. Me. Up. As you can tell, I am not very good at this dramatic writing; I am still considering that writing course. Do they do one on the correct use of punctuation? That one I really need.

Who pays for the sabbatical? Is it me? Well, not according to this definition; I can see it now. Me in my little van, no signal; that is important. I'm not having a sabbatical to still hear, "How do I turn the washer on? The floor is dirty, the grass hasn’t been cut.”

Really, don’t think so. Our fairy, Philomena, clearly went on strike again.

A tranquil journey through majestic limestone cliffs during a dream sabbatical, as the sun begins to set over the serene waters.

What To Do On A Sabbatical? The Dream

The dream: wake up, cook breakfast or even granola, sit on the van step looking out onto the mass of brambles in the quiet corner of a layby. Or another scenario: typing on my computer in peace and tranquillity, sitting in the back of the van taking in the ocean from the glorious campsite that I found on pitch up, watching the world go by.

Planning where you are hiking tomorrow, notebook in reach, pen paused whilst studying the map, only to acknowledge you have no clue how to actually read a map. You have the compass, torch, scope, ruler, mini semicircle with lines on like the ones you get in a geometry set at school. I got the amazing compass from Amazon; it is so heavy that I don’t normally take it on hikes with me, but I do have one.

You realise when you are writing random things in your notebook that you really can’t read a map; you look at the legend (I did have to Google what the legend was). I thought that you got an added extra with the map, and I was looking for the little freebie that came with it; nothing extra came. It is the little index bit that shows you what the lines mean. I read it, I look at it, I study the little symbols; I now know my stuff. I look at the map, and I can't even remember which colour path I am supposed to be following.

I guess I am winging it tomorrow.

I might take the compass in case I get lost.

If lost… Go north.

I do remember how to do that from Brownies many moons ago. Just head north; surely I will eventually find a road; England isn’t that big.

Embrace the journey: when lost on the road, let your feet hang out and enjoy the forest view.

Can I Abandon Them?

I am feeling this sabbatical thing; it’s going to come. I just need to figure out how to get one. Do you have sabbaticals from your family, or is that just classed as abandonment?

Could I abandon them?

Would they even notice that they have been abandoned?

That thought has made me smile; however, I’m unsure right now if that was in a good way or if that was one of those creepy little serial killer ways. They would probably think I am just having a holiday for a few days. Quick note: I have never done this.

They would then go in the freezer, see that their meals weren’t prepped, call me a few names, think I have a bag on and that I am annoyed in some way. Leave it a few days, wonder where their clean clothes are going to come from, and why the house has started to do its best impression of hoarders struggling to bin anything. After the rubbish starts piling up, the grass has become the next David Attenborough, Alone in the Wilding Jungle. Once they realise Philomena the fairy has gone with me, they then might wonder where I am.

Decoding Sabbaticals and the Art of Disappearing. Taking a sabbatical is like hitting the pause button on life for some soul-searching, navel-gazing, or just a good old-fashioned nap. But whether they see this grand escape as a disappearing act if I send pictures is yet to be seen.

The Sabbatical Small Print

I really need to figure out how you get paid to go and do what I want. I know that is probably not what people do, and I know that might really offend some people. Please know that it is not meant like that. It is just what I would do. And I would sabbatical the shit out of it.

I have just quickly looked back at the definition. I have my screen in half whilst I write. Google on one side (my spelling is atrocious; I certainly give spell check a run for its money), and my writing, well, Word Doc on the other, and I just spotted the example.

“He requested a three-month sabbatical from his job as CEO of a family business.”

How ironic.

Well, that’s me out then; can't really see that happening, can you?

Have you read The Sofa After Dark?

That is how all this started. How you are now able to read about my stupid sabbatical dream in the first place. So that’s it: no sabbatical for me; I need to re-evaluate my decisions and go back to the drawing board to find how I can get this sabbatical.

I might start a donation page, my sabbatical fund; I doubt it will work, but here is to hope. I have a lot of hope, and I mean a lot; I am aiming for a year's worth of hope. I will just leave that one with you.