Where life's contradictions get comfortable

Nobody warned me about parenthood. To be fair, nobody warned me about much. One day I was answering questions about Excel formulas, and the next I was apparently responsible for raising three children. I don't remember agreeing to this. There was no meeting. No onboarding document. No safeguarding training. No little leaflet saying: CONGRATULATIONS! YOU ARE NOW A PARENT. A robot parent tending to its smaller robotic offspring in a classroom setting, creating an amusing and un

Am I wrong? A random rant about what seemingly is an innocent invitation but is also so much more. So I have been invited to a birthday party, which is really nice and thoughtful, until you realise who invited me…

It’s official: I have hit that age where I now say I remember when… I remember when the cinema was cheap. That’s certainly changed; £93.00 it cost us for four people. Well, that certainly has not happened again. Popcorn ready and camera rolling—a perfect setup for cinematic excitement! We decided to go to the cinema to watch Avatar: The Way of Water; I had waited years for this. The first Avatar I absolutely loved; it was amazing- just everything about it. It had action, the

So I am sitting here thinking: should I do this? Do I delve into the world behind the hardest question in my life right now?

Do you ever get those days when you wake up and, without even realising, everyone is getting it? You get in the car, or in my case the van and all of a sudden you develop a lead foot. Normally you drive really carefully, watch your speed and drive like the little old lady that you quite often feel like when you first get up. Well, how you imagine you would drive if you were a little old lady because in reality, those grey-haired ladies are something else entirely. They are fa

When we first got together, he would randomly buy me flowers. He would come home from work with a small bouquet, give me a kiss and say, Hi, how’s your day been? That’s it, nothing more. Do you know how much this can freak a girl out (it shouldn’t, but it did). I took the flowers with one eyebrow raised, thinking, what's happened? What has he done? What’s the catch? There is always a catch. I can’t question him, because then I will just come across as a weirdo, so I find the

I am now trying to navigate how much change is actually needed in my life to find peace again. How much I need to change to be able to get up in the morning without my first thought being either anger, defeat, surrender or grief.

A newborn baby shouldn’t be able to move that much, and they can't, until water touches them. They turn into these well-oiled escape artists who want to ensure you practice your grip.

When I think about it, I have achieved a fair few personal goals. Goal: To buy my first house. A tarantula embodying the mysterious allure when spiders connect with the depths of your soul. I always said that I wanted to buy my first house before I was thirty. I achieved this when I was twenty-nine without even meaning to. You will see this is a recurring theme in my life. So I had been saving money for a deposit for years and had gotten a decent amount saved, but still felt

So today was an epic fail. Got up this morning in an amazing mood, had a right laugh at 6 am, went to work and then within an hour and a half I had had a fag, I was on day 47. The worst part is that I didn't even have it because I really craved one; it was the habit that I craved. I craved the escape smoking gives you when you take yourself out of a situation to settle your inner rage. Gutted. I have been using the Nicorette inhalers because I really don’t like chewing gum or

My two kids have just turned adults, although they try not to do any adulting lol, but I do secretly like this, as they still let me be Mum and humour me as though they still need me. I’m not put out to pasture just yet. My youngest is 18 and is an apprentice; he is doing really well, and if he continues on his path, he will be set for life. He is saving to buy his first home, going away on holiday, having quiz nights, got his car license and just passed his motorbike theory

Feeling like the world's first cloned sheep, this fluffy icon stares into the distance, embodying the essence of being a pioneer in your mum's cloning. That moment when you realise that you have turned into your mother. You never meant to and you cant pinpoint the exact moment that it happened. You just know that it has happened. You are your mother. Once the realisation hits, first you don’t know how to feel, then you experience the devastation followed by disappointment and

“I had to fight off the cockroach; it was huge. Its creepy little antennae were waving about trying to find my big toe so it could eat it. You know I hate cockroaches; I can cope with most things, but cockroaches, I just can't. As soon as I noticed it, the soap went in my eyes. I tried to jump away; my ass hit the side of the cubicle, knocked me forward, I fell onto my knees, and now I don’t know where the bloody thing is.

Firstly, a bit about me I'm forty, constantly overthinking life and apparently incapable of sitting still. I've raised two amazing children, become a granny, paid off my mortgage, quit smoking, survived more than I'd ever expected to and somehow still wake up wondering what the hell I'm doing. Finding strength and nourishment in the beauty of the present moment. This isn't a self-help website. I'm not a therapist. I'm just someone trying to make sense of life after spending t

I creep around the bed and try to slide in without waking him. He jumps up, all confused, “What are you doing?” A cosy cat blissfully snoozes under soft, white blankets, epitomising his comfort and tranquillity. “I’m just getting in bed.” “Ok, can you do it…” and he is asleep, mid-sentence, asshole.

Have you ever woken up in the morning and thought, what the hell am I doing? I turned forty expecting to feel settled. Instead, I woke up wondering what the hell I am doing with my life. The strange thing is... nothing is actually wrong. My kids are doing well. My house is paid off. I have a partner who loves me. I earn decent money. So why does it feel like I'm quietly falling apart?

Have you ever been unsure whether you just like to complain or if you genuinely have a reason? In the house, I do the majority of things like cooking and cleaning; I have never particularly minded, but just recently it is really beginning to irritate me. I live with three grown-ass adults, so why am I the only one who sees things? I hate washing the pots at night time. By the time we have got home from work, caught up on all of our days, had dinner, the last thing I want to d

An emotional and moral rollercoaster creating pure mental head f*ck. This is not supposed to be such a hard question. Should I change jobs? Simple, or so you would think. Now you know how I like to complicate things, so let me give you a little insight: I work with family…