Where life's contradictions get comfortable

I hate it when Arthur comes calling. I really do wish he would do one, just disappear already. Now I know what you think, but this really isn’t me being horrible. I just really wish he would f-off; my God, does he piss me off. He shows his face like he has every right to be here, and in case you are wondering, no, he does not. I don’t see the need or reason for that face to be looking back at me, and for some reason, they all love him. They must do because they knock about wi

I I had a thought this morning. There are so many things that I want to do. It makes me wonder if I will have time to do any of them. I have been thinking about starting a podcast. I have started to write. I am writing a blog - well, attempting to. I want to write a book. I have a few ideas for completely different storylines that no way can merge into one book, so I don’t actually know right now if that will ever come to fruition, as I can’t pin down one idea. I have thought

Ah, midlife. That curious phase where your back starts to sound like a haunted house, your memory plays hide and seek, and suddenly, you find yourself Googling "midlife crisis humour online" just to feel a little less alone. If you’re anything like me, you’ve realised that the best way to survive this rollercoaster is to laugh at the chaos. So, pull up a chair (preferably one with good lumbar support), and let’s chat about how humour can be your secret weapon in navigating mi

After Delilah came into work to tell me that she was coming back if I agreed, which, obviously, I didn’t. Adira spent many months going between Eris and me to see who would back down first, to see if I would get over myself, forgive and forget, so to speak, all of the things that she did so she could come back to work. Or if Eris would back down and stop trying to push Delilah back on us. It wasn’t just a case of give in and carry on, if only it were that easy. The thing is,

I received a text in the middle of the night with an unnecessary sarcastic comment that I really didn’t appreciate waking up to. So all I can think right now is that Adira can do one. I have the most unnatural and unhealthy thought process right now. It is so confusing; basically, for the past ten months, I have been put in positions by Delilah (sister), Eris (Mum) and Adira (Stepdad) that I really do not appreciate. I want to destroy everything and everyone, but I want to ho

Working with family can be amazing, and for me it was great for a long time. I loved my job. It wasn’t something that I ever thought I would do, and what started out as a favour turned into more than just a job. It was my life. It was everything to me. Amidst a serene morning setting, a mug sits surrounded by notebooks, embodying the fusion of work and life with quiet determination.

I have joined a WhatsApp group. I have survived teenage dating. I have taken three children on holiday. I have explained why a six-year-old cannot have a pet crocodile. I have even endured the phrase: “Dad, can you just...” But nothing has prepared me for the school parents’ WhatsApp group. Nothing. Not war. Not politics. Not artificial intelligence. Not even trying to explain fractions to a twelve-year-old. The group is called: Year 8 Parents There are 47 members. One of the

Do you ever get up in the morning and think, why am I so angry? Today is going to be one of those days where nothing is right, everything is wrong, and the stupidest of things are going to irritate you beyond belief for no apparent reason. Why this happens, I really don’t know. I would love to know, more than anything, to be able to stop it from happening. I reckon if you could write a how-to guide that actually stopped this, you would make a killing. Not a twelve-step guide

I made a terrible mistake. I agreed to take the kids on holiday. Now, before you judge me, I should explain that I didn't actually agree. There was a conversation. Then another conversation. Then someone said the words: “Everyone else is going.” And somehow, approximately four minutes later, I was booking flights. This is how humans make decisions. Not through logic. Through guilt. AI gears up for a holiday adventure with maps, gadgets, and a sense of exploration. The plannin

They had had enough and called a meeting! I’m like, she quit… but ok. The meeting was not productive or helpful. The meeting was between the four of us, as it didn’t involve anyone else. It was a bit ridiculous that it had come to this, but sometimes people can get so worked up, and with so much going on outside of work, emotions can often run high. We all sit down for the meeting. The meeting is about work, not family life or personal vendettas. We need to figure out how to

Nobody warned me about parenthood. To be fair, nobody warned me about much. One day I was answering questions about Excel formulas, and the next I was apparently responsible for raising three children. I don't remember agreeing to this. There was no meeting. No onboarding document. No safeguarding training. No little leaflet saying: CONGRATULATIONS! YOU ARE NOW A PARENT. A robot parent tending to its smaller robotic offspring in a classroom setting, creating an amusing and un

Am I wrong? A random rant about what seemingly is an innocent invitation but is also so much more. So I have been invited to a birthday party, which is really nice and thoughtful, until you realise who invited me…

It’s official: I have hit that age where I now say I remember when… I remember when the cinema was cheap. That’s certainly changed; £93.00 it cost us for four people. Well, that certainly has not happened again. Popcorn ready and camera rolling—a perfect setup for cinematic excitement! We decided to go to the cinema to watch Avatar: The Way of Water; I had waited years for this. The first Avatar I absolutely loved; it was amazing- just everything about it. It had action, the

So I am sitting here thinking: should I do this? Do I delve into the world behind the hardest question in my life right now?

Do you ever get those days when you wake up and, without even realising, everyone is getting it? You get in the car, or in my case the van and all of a sudden you develop a lead foot. Normally you drive really carefully, watch your speed and drive like the little old lady that you quite often feel like when you first get up. Well, how you imagine you would drive if you were a little old lady because in reality, those grey-haired ladies are something else entirely. They are fa

When we first got together, he would randomly buy me flowers. He would come home from work with a small bouquet, give me a kiss and say, Hi, how’s your day been? That’s it, nothing more. Do you know how much this can freak a girl out (it shouldn’t, but it did). I took the flowers with one eyebrow raised, thinking, what's happened? What has he done? What’s the catch? There is always a catch. I can’t question him, because then I will just come across as a weirdo, so I find the

I am now trying to navigate how much change is actually needed in my life to find peace again. How much I need to change to be able to get up in the morning without my first thought being either anger, defeat, surrender or grief.

A newborn baby shouldn’t be able to move that much, and they can't, until water touches them. They turn into these well-oiled escape artists who want to ensure you practice your grip.

When I think about it, I have achieved a fair few personal goals. Goal: To buy my first house. A tarantula embodying the mysterious allure when spiders connect with the depths of your soul. I always said that I wanted to buy my first house before I was thirty. I achieved this when I was twenty-nine without even meaning to. You will see this is a recurring theme in my life. So I had been saving money for a deposit for years and had gotten a decent amount saved, but still felt

Have you ever woken up in the morning and thought, what the hell am I doing? I turned forty expecting to feel settled. Instead, I woke up wondering what the hell I am doing with my life. The strange thing is... nothing is actually wrong. My kids are doing well. My house is paid off. I have a partner who loves me. I earn decent money. So why does it feel like I'm quietly falling apart?