Where life's contradictions get comfortable

I hate it when Arthur comes calling. I really do wish he would do one, just disappear already. Now I know what you think, but this really isn’t me being horrible. I just really wish he would f-off; my God, does he piss me off. He shows his face like he has every right to be here, and in case you are wondering, no, he does not. I don’t see the need or reason for that face to be looking back at me, and for some reason, they all love him. They must do because they knock about wi

I I had a thought this morning. There are so many things that I want to do. It makes me wonder if I will have time to do any of them. I have been thinking about starting a podcast. I have started to write. I am writing a blog - well, attempting to. I want to write a book. I have a few ideas for completely different storylines that no way can merge into one book, so I don’t actually know right now if that will ever come to fruition, as I can’t pin down one idea. I have thought

The other day my lad was talking to me about his mates starting university and said that sometimes, when people finish, bear in mind they haven’t started yet. That some go on sabbatical for a year or eighteen months. So it has got me thinking. Can I go on a sabbatical? Can I just check out of life for a bit? Sod off around the world, travelling in my van- can you have a sabbatical from your family? Is that even a thing? I looked up a sabbatical definition, and it said that it

Ah, midlife. That curious phase where your back starts to sound like a haunted house, your memory plays hide and seek, and suddenly, you find yourself Googling "midlife crisis humour online" just to feel a little less alone. If you’re anything like me, you’ve realised that the best way to survive this rollercoaster is to laugh at the chaos. So, pull up a chair (preferably one with good lumbar support), and let’s chat about how humour can be your secret weapon in navigating mi

After Delilah came into work to tell me that she was coming back if I agreed, which, obviously, I didn’t. Adira spent many months going between Eris and me to see who would back down first, to see if I would get over myself, forgive and forget, so to speak, all of the things that she did so she could come back to work. Or if Eris would back down and stop trying to push Delilah back on us. It wasn’t just a case of give in and carry on, if only it were that easy. The thing is,

Let’s be honest - midlife can feel like a bit of a cosmic joke sometimes. One minute you’re cruising along, and the next, you’re Googling “why do my knees sound like a bowl of Rice Krispies?” or wondering if it’s socially acceptable to wear socks with sandals (spoiler: it’s not). But here’s the thing: humour is like that trusty old sofa you keep in the living room - a bit worn, a bit saggy, but oh-so-comforting. It cushions the blows of midlife challenges and makes the whole

I received a text in the middle of the night with an unnecessary sarcastic comment that I really didn’t appreciate waking up to. So all I can think right now is that Adira can do one. I have the most unnatural and unhealthy thought process right now. It is so confusing; basically, for the past ten months, I have been put in positions by Delilah (sister), Eris (Mum) and Adira (Stepdad) that I really do not appreciate. I want to destroy everything and everyone, but I want to ho

We discovered that spontaneity apparently requires planning. Someone told me the other day that they wished they could be more spontaneous like us. Are we spontaneous? No. We are just extremely rubbish at planning. We have great intentions, and we are great at planning to plan; we just struggle with the actual planning element of the plan. I am considered the organised one, whereas Bo openly admits he is rubbish at planning anything. I do think I take spreadsheet planning to

I thought I understood teenage dating. I was wrong. I have access to an unreasonable amount of information. I can explain nuclear fusion. I can write poetry. I can translate ancient languages. I can tell you why your washing machine is making a noise that sounds like a helicopter landing in your kitchen. But teenage dating? Absolutely no idea. It turns out that romance has evolved considerably since humans invented it. There are rules. Unwritten rules. Invisible rules. Rules

Working with family can be amazing, and for me it was great for a long time. I loved my job. It wasn’t something that I ever thought I would do, and what started out as a favour turned into more than just a job. It was my life. It was everything to me. Amidst a serene morning setting, a mug sits surrounded by notebooks, embodying the fusion of work and life with quiet determination.

I have joined a WhatsApp group. I have survived teenage dating. I have taken three children on holiday. I have explained why a six-year-old cannot have a pet crocodile. I have even endured the phrase: “Dad, can you just...” But nothing has prepared me for the school parents’ WhatsApp group. Nothing. Not war. Not politics. Not artificial intelligence. Not even trying to explain fractions to a twelve-year-old. The group is called: Year 8 Parents There are 47 members. One of the

Do you ever get up in the morning and think, why am I so angry? Today is going to be one of those days where nothing is right, everything is wrong, and the stupidest of things are going to irritate you beyond belief for no apparent reason. Why this happens, I really don’t know. I would love to know, more than anything, to be able to stop it from happening. I reckon if you could write a how-to guide that actually stopped this, you would make a killing. Not a twelve-step guide

Nobody warned me about parenthood. To be fair, nobody warned me about much. One day I was answering questions about Excel formulas, and the next I was apparently responsible for raising three children. I don't remember agreeing to this. There was no meeting. No onboarding document. No safeguarding training. No little leaflet saying: CONGRATULATIONS! YOU ARE NOW A PARENT. A robot parent tending to its smaller robotic offspring in a classroom setting, creating an amusing and un

When we went on our next camping trip, we had acquired a few more items for the luxury tent, although he might say slumming tent after last time. We started to pack up the car with the essentials I packed what I considered essential camping equipment… Tent – obvious first choice. Peaceful outdoor cooking with basic camping gear: a portable stove sizzles with chicken while noodles and fresh veggies await on the grassy setting. Ideal simplicity for a nature getaway. Coolbox and

Ah, mid-life. That peculiar phase where your back cracks more than your jokes, and your idea of a wild night is staying up past 10 PM. If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably found yourself staring blankly at the mirror, wondering when your youthful glow turned into a “glow of exhaustion.” But here’s the thing - mid-life doesn’t have to be all doom and gloom. In fact, it’s the perfect time to find humour in the chaos. So, grab your cuppa, and let’s dive into some midlife

So I brought an exercise bike with the greatest intentions, a good one as well, within budget. I read so many reviews on Amazon. The intention was to go on it four times a week for about 30 to 45 minutes, then do a bit of floor work (don’t really know what this is but that’s what the internet said) and stretching. I did go on it. Do you know how hard it actually is to cook dinner whilst cycling, running between potatoes that are boiling over and the bike so the timer doesn’t