Where life's contradictions get comfortable

Do you ever get those days when you wake up and, without even realising, everyone is getting it? You get in the car, or in my case the van and all of a sudden you develop a lead foot. Normally you drive really carefully, watch your speed and drive like the little old lady that you quite often feel like when you first get up. Well, how you imagine you would drive if you were a little old lady because in reality, those grey-haired ladies are something else entirely. They are fa

I creep around the bed and try to slide in without waking him. He jumps up, all confused, “What are you doing?” A cosy cat blissfully snoozes under soft, white blankets, epitomising his comfort and tranquillity. “I’m just getting in bed.” “Ok, can you do it…” and he is asleep, mid-sentence, asshole.

The deal is, if they do this, they don’t have to pay board. If they don’t, they will pay board, and the amount’s going to hurt.